The Midlife Awakening: Finding Purpose in Midlife

Midlife is a time of transition that can often be uncomfortable, unsettling, even downright scary. As we achieve our career ambitions and/or our children move out of the house, we are left feeling unmoored, wondering where to go from here. But if we reframe how we view these transitions, we can celebrate them as an awakening rather than a crisis. And most importantly, we can use them as a motivation to finding purpose in midlife.

It is at this point in life when a question rises in our hearts: What next?

Followed shortly by: Why am I here? What is my purpose? How do I spend the second half of my life? OMG, I’m half dead!

I call it the Midlife Awakening. And it’s not nearly as bad as it sounds.

The sudden realization that we’re halfway to the grave can cause great distress and anxiety, and thus, is often why this period is often referred to as a midlife crisis.

But what if we lean into this change rather than running from it? What if we view our halfway point not as a reflection on everything we’ve yet to achieve, but rather as an awareness of all that is still to come?

What is a Midlife Crisis and How Does it Show Up for Women?

For mothers, midlife brings a major life transition, as our children leave home for college or careers. Similarly, as women in the workplace in our late 40s and 50s, we often start questioning our motivations for pursuing the work we do. For many, we have achieved or surpassed our career ambitions. And for others, we simply are no longer driven by success and ambition. We begin to yearn for more purposeful work.

Suddenly, we begin to see the titles and roles we’ve given ourselves (mother of four, VP of Marketing) as no longer correctly aligning with how we see ourselves from within. We begin to question everything that seemed so concrete for so long, and the image we’ve created for ourselves begins to crumble.

It is this questioning that signals the first stirrings of the midlife awakening.

6 Signs You Might Be Experiencing a Midlife Awakening

While the awakening may show up at different times or in different ways for different people, below are some common signs that you are experiencing it.

1. You feel an overall restlessness or yearning for something new, different, or more in your life
2. You begin to feel dissatisfied with certain elements of your life (career, partner, friendships, etc.)
3. You question your reason for being here and feel a need to find your purpose
4. You feel trapped or constrained by your marriage or long-term partner
5. You notice a change in your core beliefs or mindset
6. You feel a more spiritual calling or desire for a deeper self awareness or understanding

The Search for Purpose as Key Element to the Awakening

While any of the signs above may indicate that something is lacking in your life, they don’t necessarily mean anything is wrong with your life. More likely, they are an indication that you are out of alignment with your true life’s purpose. 

Tony Robbins says “if you aren’t growing, you’re dying.” And often when we reach midlife, our growth tends to slow – we’ve achieved goals centered around work, family, and material purchases – so we begin to feel some anxiety about not having additional goals to strive for. Similarly, Marcia Reynolds, Psy.D. calls this phase a “midlife quest for identity” – or more to the point, the beginning of a search for purpose.

What does Life Purpose Mean, or What is Your Why?

The definition of purpose is “the reason for which something is done or created, or for which something exists.”

Having a sense of purpose – that innate understanding of why you are here on this planet at this particular moment, coupled with a vision for how you can share your unique gifts with the world – is essential to a fulfilling life. And while everyone has a different why, common themes include love, success, legacy, security, or a desire to serve. Whatever the why, it is what gets you out of bed every morning.

There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling. It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive. – Oprah Winfrey

According to Simon Sinek in Find Your Why, “the difference between happiness and fulfillment is the difference between liking something and loving something…Happiness comes from what we do. Fulfillment comes from why we do it.“

How to Find Your Purpose 

So, what is your purpose? Why were you created, why do you exist? Your purpose can be described as the reason you are here on earth, your life’s one true path. It would be so much easier if a teacher pulled us aside in third grade and told us our purpose. Instead, you are tasked with searching out and finding it. Fortunately, that’s not as hard as it sounds. Your purpose has always been there. But while it is something you discover, your purpose most likely has already been guiding you through life. And once you understand your purpose, you can begin to live your life deliberately, or “on purpose.”

 A purpose can be described in a short, simple, positive statement of why you are here, and usually begins with “I am…” A purpose is not a goal; it is more like a direction, something you always travel toward but never achieve. Your North Star. Rather than “I am a famous doctor,” your purpose might be “I am here to alleviate the pain of others.”

Similarly, a purpose is not an affirmation like “I am loved.” Affirmations are something you mindfully create; a purpose already exists. Another way to think of it is: your purpose is exactly what you can’t help doing.

Prompts to Help Find Your Purpose

Below are some prompts that can help you get a better understanding of what your life’s purpose is.

Even if I didn’t get paid for it, I would love to __________________________________

If I never had to work again, I would spend my days_____________________________

I would rather die than not be able to _______________________________________

I want to be remembered for _____________________________________________

Does anything come up as you answer these prompts? Often there is a recurring theme, or maybe you experience a visceral reaction toward one. But don’t worry if nothing obvious speaks to you immediately; the idea is to simply get you started on a process of self discovery. 

My Self-Assessment Questionnaire and Design Your Life Worksheet can also help shed some light on what your life’s destiny may be.

Finding Purpose in Midlife & How to Embrace it

While the lack of purpose is often described as a trigger of midlife crisis, the search for purpose can spark a midlife awakening. 

Use feelings of restlessness or discontent as a compass for determining the direction of your life journey. Rather than letting these feelings of unease create stress or anxiety, acknowledge them as they arise and listen to what they are telling you. A great way to do this is through meditation or quiet reflection. Furthermore, feelings of disquietude are often your intuition (a “gut feeling”) speaking up to give you hints on which direction to go as you stand at a crossroads.

Put simply, one way to determine what you want from life is to know why you want it. Understanding your purpose can help you know your why. 

Meditation and Manifestation Techniques as Midlife Superpowers

Once you know your why, the powerful techniques of meditation and manifesting can help you navigate the challenges of midlife. Used together they offer a clear vision on what life has in store (or, more importantly, what you want from life) and a roadmap for how to get there.

Successful manifesting boils down to a simple formula:

DEFINE – RELEASE – CREATE

You must first Define what it is you truly want. Then you must Release all limiting thoughts and beliefs that are preventing you from getting it. And finally you must apply and practice various techniques that allow you to access the universe and Create the life you desire.

Step 1: Define

Understanding your purpose is a key part of the first step, Define. In addition to the earlier prompts, my Self-Assessment Questionnaire and Design Your Life Worksheet are great tools to get your creative, self-aware juices flowing.

Step 2: Release

In the second step of the formula, Release, you must identify and release any limiting beliefs that are holding you back or creating stumbling blocks. Midlife struggles are often the result of ideas around our identity or place in the world. For so long, many of us have created a self image, and a resulting self worth, around who we are (I am a mother, I am an entrepreneur) or how we want others to see us (I am successful, I am physically attractive) rather than what our true soul purpose is.

We’ve all spent a lifetime crafting a story about who we are and what we can and cannot do. And from this, we create limiting beliefs that prevent us from reaching our full potential. But before you can begin releasing these old, ingrained limiting beliefs, you’ll need to define them. Use my Identify & Release Limiting Thoughts Worksheet to help identify what’s holding you back. Then take those limiting beliefs and rewrite them. 

Step 4: Create

Finally, once you are crystal clear on what you want and have released your resistant, limiting beliefs, you can move to the final step: Create. In this step, we use simple manifesting techniques to begin building a new, more authentic path in life. 

Of all the techniques for manifesting, I believe meditation is absolutely fundamental. In addition to providing clarity and a sense of wellbeing, meditation is a direct means of communication with the universe and the creative source that powers your soul. I personally love the Chopra app, but there are hundreds of books, apps, and websites that can help you get started if you are new to meditation.

Other common manifestation techniques include cultivating a gratitude practice, visualization, affirmations, journaling, vision boarding, and the 5×55 method. My post What it Means to Manifest: Methods and Techniques dives deeper into these techniques if you want to explore them more.

Use Your Manifesting Superpowers to Find Purpose in Midlife

So you’ve defined your purpose, you’ve released your limiting beliefs, you’ve taken up meditation, and you’ve begun practicing various manifestation techniques…what next? 

Hopefully by finding purpose in midlife you will begin to experience less anxiety and more confidence about where your life is headed. Exciting opportunities may begin to show up for you. But don’t fret if it doesn’t happen immediately; the universe works on its own time and will send things to you as you are ready. In the meantime, continue fostering gratitude for what you have already accomplished, practice meditation daily, and remain open to all possibilities for the second half of your life.